Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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