just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
