Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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