i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
