I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize