Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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