I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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