remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize