And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
