Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
