Whod you bang
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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