Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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