Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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