I'm gonna have a badass scar
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
