I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
he quoted the bible to break up with me
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
