the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
