I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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