his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
