I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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