Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
