As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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