well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
