So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
