I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
