I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
