You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
