it wasn't lemon gatorade
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
