If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
