I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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