apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
