Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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