"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
