We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
