Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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