I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
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I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
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Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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