Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
