I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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