We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
