Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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