I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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