hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
