So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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