I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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