i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
