I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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