9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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