Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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