Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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