Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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