I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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