lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
