need another drink. this is the easiest way
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
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when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
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Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm always down for nudity.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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