Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
