how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
