Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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