Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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