i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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