Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
