Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
