You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize