My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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