before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
