gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
