I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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